Много често си задаваме въпросите: „Добър родител ли съм?”, „Справям ли се с отглеждането и възпитанието на децата си?”. Понякога сме прекалено критични към себе си, понякога се носим по течението и не обръщаме достатъчно внимание на дребните неща, в които често се коренят проблемите. Ето няколко препоръки към родителите или поне теми, за които си заслужава човек да се замисли:
- Дали сте задачка на детето си и сте видели крайния резултат?Независимо какъв е той – окуражавайте детето, вместо да го хвалите! Така му показвате, че то може да се справи не само с настоящата, но и със следващи задачи! Избягвате максимално опасността от това да се възгордее или пък да се почувства непълноценно.
- Когато хвалите детето си, нека е за нещо конкретно, за усилията му и за използваната стратегия, а не за крайния резултат. Все пак не резултатът е най-важен, а пътят, по който са достигнали до него. Така допринасяте и за развиване на мисленето, както и логическите операции.
- Демонстрирайте уважение към децата си, не ги обиждайте и нагрубявайте, но не им спестявайте истината, колкото и да е трудна за споделяне. Обратната връзка, при това искрена и обоснована, е изключително ценна!
- Предоставяйте възможности на децата си, които е вероятно да изпълнят успешно и да се почувстват удовлетворени от себе си. Освен това така ще разберат, че могат да постигнат нещо сами, без чужда помощ, което е важно за развитието на самочувствието им.
- Давайте възможност на децата ви да взимат решения, да правят избори, за да се почувстват овластени за неща, които касаят тях самите. Не ги поставяйте прекалено често в позицията: „Нещата стоят по този начин и ти ще изпълняваш това, което ти казвам, защото родителите ти най-добре знаят кое е най-добро за теб!”
- Всяко дете е уникално – покажете на вашето, че няма нищо лошо в това да е различно от останалите.
- Покажете на децата си, че не е фатално ако понякога се провалят или не се справят достатъчно добре в някое начинание. Важното е да са положили усилия и те ще бъдат възнаградени.
- Карайте децата си да вършат полезни неща – да си подреждат играчките, да си сгъват дрехите, да ви помагат с чиниите. Целта е да виждат резултат от действията си и да приемат свършената работа като нещо положително и като нещо, с което те са допринесли.
- Въвличайте децата си в креативни дейности, които развиват мисленето и сръчността им. Така ще имат усещането, че създават нещо хубаво, а това спомага за по-доброто им самочувствие.
- Научете децата си да се справят в трудни ситуации и да знаят как да „изпускат парата” по начин, по който не нараняват никого. Дори само да потичат навън може да подейства достатъчно разведряващо.
Прекарвайте достатъчно време с децата си, преди те неусетно да са вече толкова порастнали, че да ви обвиняват за това, което не сте им дали, когато са имали нужда от вашата подкрепа и опора.
Мариета Бързакова
Психодрама терапевт
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Thank you, Mark! As soon as I find some time, new articles are to come.
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